![]() When the offering came around, he wouldn't put it in. It's probably just your dad."Ī little boy was given a five dollar bill to put in the collection plate. ![]() The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."Īt Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"Ī Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Ī small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."Ī Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."Ī Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"Īnnie replied, "Because people are sleeping."Ī boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead." Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"Īn elderly woman died last month. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. ![]() Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" He hadn't met the husband before, and he asked what church he was transferring from.Īfter a short hesitation, he replied, "I am transferring from the Municipal Golf Course."Ī little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. ![]() As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late.But please don't shove me either!"Īfter the service a young couple talked to a church member about joining the church. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" The child thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"Ī little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." Clean Church Jokes Church Funnies At the WeddingĪttending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" ![]()
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